Friday, November 11, 2005

God and Gay Facials

Well I’ve just spent some time clicking the ‘next blog’ button up there at the top of the screen and there are two things that I’d like to report. Why I’m reporting them to you, Reader, when you’re perfectly aware I’m sure of some of the oddities that make up this blogging world I don’t know. They’ve tickled me so hopefully they might do the same to you.

Firstly, ‘Gay Facials’ - is it me or does that sound too much like a place you’d go to have your eyebrows done? I just can’t take it seriously as a sexual practice, I mean come on (no pun intended), imagine if you will:

‘Gay facial sir?’

‘Sure, thanks, but could you use Nivea this time? That other stuff was a bitch to get out of my hair.’

See what I mean?

Secondly, religious blogs. Not that I’m for organised religion in any of its various destructive forms but it’s not that that’s amused me. It’s this:

‘Fossil Fuel Users United

…well then Billy told me that I really needed to use the ¾ wrench spanner before even thinking about getting started on the carburettor assembly and I remembered that it was very similar to when our sweet lord Jesus went into the house of the money collectors and SMASHED THEIR HEATHEN WAYS WITH THE MIGHT OF THE LORD!!!’

I’m sorry, just exactly where did that come from? I was perfectly happy learning about the intricacies of the internal combustion engine and all of a sudden I’m in some kind of Fundamentalist wonderland!

Similarly, if I’ve found a good recipe for bolognese I’m a bit surprised to find that one ingredient needs to be acquired from ‘the sweet gardens of our Lords house’, whilst the pasta has been blessed by the holy trinity.

I honestly don’t think they sell that in Asda.

P.S. These are fictional examples to prove a point. I may be sarcastic, but I’m not cruel. Also, for those who’ve spotted a certain Judaeo-Christian bias all I can say is that those are the blogs I’ve seen. If there are similarly innocent looking blogs of any other faith (A cross-stitching blog that exhorts the faithful to unite against the great Satan whilst at the same time providing fascinating and intricate floral designs for a sofa throw, for example) I’ve yet to see one, or been unable to read it if I have seen one.

Anyway, that’s more than enough for tonight I think.

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