A Dream - The 'Roach Is Mightier Than The Sword?

I’m in a car, on the driver side (I don’t drive) and having a strange fit/vision in which I’m writing on the steamed up window but instead of ink flowing from the pen it’s cockroaches. I’m looking into the car at myself writing, I look detached and vacant. I can’t read what I’m writing. The roaches are fascinating though and as they emerge from the tip of my pen or finger, they moved around as if trying to form words and I’m incredibly excited as if I’m on the verge of a great discovery. I stop writing to watch the roaches better and move with purpose as if they are about to come together and reveal their pattern. There is an interruption, a voice or a sound, and they scatter and rush away into various cracks and crevices in the scene and I watch as they flow into a dark hole in a pile of scrap metal.

I found myself back in first-person view (I was in a strange kind of 3rd/1st during the vision sequence) and surrounded by a half dozen people who are telling me I’d make a great boxer and I should have some photos taken. I’m a bit chuffed and a bit confused, ‘Me, a boxer?’ not exactly built for it. I’m still trying to put meaning to the cockroaches and wondering what the people around me would say if they knew about my ‘vision’. Someone’s trying to persuade me to take my top off for a photo, I hear someone say ‘We want to be careful we don’t make him look like some kind of arrogant upstart.’

I take my top off to find myself briefly surprised that I’ve a t-shirt on underneath (my patterned off-lemon one with the white sleeves that’s sown together to make it look like it’s inside out. It’s brighter than I normally wear, and cheerful). The photographer shows up and while he sets his tripod up joins the general banter about the photos. He’s a bit like the old trainer guy from the Rocky movies, rough voice but gentle with it, incredibly wrinkled features, a blue top and possibly the hat I’m not sure. Stockier than the Rocky guy though.

My back’s turned to him when he comes up behind me and gets me in some kind of hold. I can’t move, I should be afraid but aren’t, I’m feeling very awake (ironically). He’s very close, his body is pressed against my back but there’s nothing sexual about it. He starts prodding and massaging my neck and the back of my head in very specific places, it’s weird but not unpleasant. All the time he’s mumbling to himself then he says, ‘It’s your Attitude. You’ve had a good day today but are keeping things locked up to here.’ He prods my neck on the left hand side just where it joins my shoulder.

I have that feeling again where I’m about to learn something crucial.

Then there’s a scene change.

I’m in an indoor market, in fact I’ve got the feeling that I’m back in the indoor market of the grim northern town where I lived for about 11 years from age 14. It’s not pleasant and the other person with me is actually searched on the way in. I’m not, the bouncers seem to know me well although none of them are familiar. One does question my attire though, it seems I’m not smart enough (I’m in tracksuit bottoms and my long sleeved black top, no shoes just baggy scruffy socks). I plead a little and he/she (?) relents. My friend, although not one I recognise, says ‘Jesus, [insert real name here], you could’ve made an effort.’ I don’t see him again. I wander round the market looking at all the stalls rammed with bric-a-brac with a growing sense of unease. I become very self-conscious of my floppy socks and appearance generally. There is a subtle sense of malevolence building around me. I decide to leave, pushing through the thickening crowd, I’m being followed I’m sure of it. The looks from the people around me are hostile and silent. I reach a fire door and taking a breath push the handle.

I wake up.

Note: Anyone I’ve ever told about my dreams has always been a little surprised at the strong narrative element. I don’t have these kind of dreams often although they are pretty much guranteed when I oversleep. It’s weird I know. I’d really welcome any comments on this.