So What Now?

Well, this is a little unexpected. Sat at work. Empty office.

3/4 of an hour to use with no interruptions. Don't panic, my post isn't that long.

Managed to get half an hour alone in here with... well with her. Her? I really can't call her 'Her'. That's crap, but anonymity should be retained of course. Hmm...something flattering, and amusing, possibly romantic too, (or erotic? No. Too weird). Definitley can't go with anything that's been used obviously.

So.....what?

Of course, it was staring me in the face all along.

Geneve.

It's a variety of her favourite flower. Perfect. Oh and my secret petname for her.

Yes, yes, I am a fucking daft hopeless, desperate romantic (probably should capitalise 'hopeless'). Even did something that I haven't done in years.

No, not that. Something far far worse.

I wrote a love poem.

Yes, that heinous crime against the rhyming art the love poem. Now I don't know much (anything) about poetry but I have read some of Oscar Wildes' and as far as I'm aware the general consensus is that he should've stuck to witty comments on the class structure in Victorian England. So probably not the best person to be basing my own then?

Ha! You're probably right but here it is anyway.

The Angel and the Man

The Angel came to the Man and to her he did say:
'Take my hand, my Geneve and we can run away.'

The Angel sadly shook her head and this was her reply:

'Our love is a forbidden thing that cannot ever be.
Our love it is a beacon light that none but us can see.
Our love it is a hidden path that only we can walk.
Our love it is a silent tongue that only we can talk.'

The Man cried out,
'It cannot be!
It cannot be this way.
Our love should be the midday sun,
On clear blue summer's day!'

The Angel fled but not before the man heard her reply:

'Our love is a forbidden thing that cannot ever be.
Our love it is a beacon light that none but us can see.
Our love it is a hidden path that only we can walk.
Our love it is a silent tongue that only we can talk.'

Onto his knees the Man did fall,
All hope now gone away.
No words would ever come to him,
His love had gone astray.

Then into his heart an angel's voice did sigh:

'Our love is a forbidden thing that cannot ever be.
Our love it is a beacon light that none but us can see.
Our love it is a hidden path that only we can walk.
Our love it is a silent tongue that only we can talk.'


Slate it if you want but Geneve fucking loved it so I'm really not going to give a toss about criticism on this.

Hopefully, see you soon.

A Total Lack Of Respect For The Heart

How life changes.

It’s been a long time since I’ve been here. It’s been a long time since I’ve been in a place where I’ve had the time, inclination or opportunity to be here.

So much has happened. Trauma and joy. Love and heartache. Here’s a very brief rundown.

Miss Potential became Miss Actual became almost Mrs Journeyman. For a brief, brief moment my life was complete. Had the family, the kids, the home and the future that I realised I’d always wanted.

Then it collapsed, fell apart. A combination of self destruction and betrayal. The person I thought she was didn’t exist, the person I thought I could be was further away than I realised.

So the past couple of months have seen me sleeping on my friends sofa. Pieceing my life together slowly whilst making a determined effort to leave the shards of the recent past where they lay.

I’ll be starting a house share with some friends next week.

My own room again. Woohoo.

A decent kitchen to cook in. Hooray.

The opportunity to have a space of my own again. Cheer.

Just to keep life uncomplicated I’ve just started on a relationship with a girl at work. She already has a partner. Dear god check the irony. He is a shit, in case you’re wondering. Controlling, jealous, he even headbutted her in a drunken jealous rage recently. Maybe that sounds like I’m justifying my actions, maybe I am. But you know what?

I don’t give a fuck.

She makes me happy, she loves me and I want to show her what it really means to be loved by someone who truly values you.

I’m such a hopeless romantic. Is there a word for someone who gives his heart away so easily? Apart from ‘fucking idiot’ obviously.

I don’t know when I’ll be back here. I hope it won’t be too long. We shall see.