Boys and Girls qnd Ex's

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome to the weird world of GROWN UP DATING!!!

Man, things have got a little fucked up today.

Pete rings me at work, ‘What are you doing tonight? Fancy coming round and helping me tidy up my house?’ To explain he’s in the middle of renovating a house they just bought.

‘Ok’ says I because a) Pete and Mary are my two best friends and I like to help them out and b) I owe them.

Pete comes round about 6ish and says ‘Actually what I really came round for was that I needed to tell you something that had been fucking me off all day’

I’m intrigued now.

Ok, this is going to take a bit of explaining, it’s all going to get a bit soap opera but bear with me because, well because you don’t have much choice frankly (unless your from Blogexplosion in which your time should be up just about…….now!).

Ok. Miss Potential’s ex (whom she dated for about 3 months) works at the same place as Pete. Pete found out today that when Miss P had not gone into work on Saturday it had actually been her ex that’d phoned in sick for her. What she’d texted me was ‘I’m throwing a sickie’ and then when I’d suggested that we could meet up and take advantage of her ‘sick’ day she’d said that she was off to see family. ‘Fair enough’ I’d thought at the time and left it at that. It would seem that that had been a lie. Not good.

Also the subject of a ‘ring’ had come up. This was while Pete was in earshot but the ex doesn’t know that I’m dating Miss P or that I’m Pete’s mate. Now here’s where things get a little weird. Shortly after we our night Miss P had suggested the use (and had actually stated that she’d been out and bought) a cock ring. This was mostly a humorous comment on my performance on our first night together (see Blind Dates and Captain America below) but I said that I’m willing to try anything twice. Which is true by the way, I have my limits but I’m fairly open-minded about stuff like that.

Are you beginning to see my dilemma?

Ok, worst case scenario. Miss P spent Friday/Saturday with her ex, they used a cock ring came up and the subject came up (excuse the pun) re: me(because of the texts) and her ex thought it would be funny to bring it up in the presence of someone he thinks knows who is seeing her. Earlier on he’d also come up to Pete and, aggressively, said ’I want a word with you!’ but it’d never happened for whatever reason. So when I met up with Pete the situation was like this.

This is scenario is not good on so many levels.

1. Miss P is a cold hearted bitch who is perfectly willing to sleep with someone and then pretend that they like them.


2. That she’s perfectly happy to play games with peoples hearts and emotions even, or especially when they’ve expressed a genuine interest beyond the physical.

Not looking good is it?

Pete hates her ex, not because he’s Miss P’s ex but because he’s a twat. A fifty-something who hasn’t grown out of the playground. A clingy bastard.

Which casts another light on things.

As do the texts I sent her tonight.

Basically, I was stressing. I know, that’s not unreasonable. I desperately wanted to say ‘WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH YOUR EX!!!!’ (and trust me, I don’t use multiple exclamation marks lightly).

Instead the text conversation went like this:

Yours truly: ‘Hi Gorgeous [I say that to all my female friends]. Thought I’d drop you a quick line, well just because really. Ok, I’m trying to think of what we can do next week? Do you fancy trying my cooking?’

Miss P: ‘That sounds ok. What are you thinking of doing?’

(For pure comedy factor I replied)

Yours truly: ‘Well I was thinking of cooking you a nice meal, dazzling you with my charm and wit, and seducing you, basically.’

Miss P: ‘I like my steak rare. If seduction is on the cards plenty of booze then!’

Yours truly: ‘LOL! A woman after my own heart! I love it.’

Now, I don’t think I’m that naïve but that doesn’t sound to me like a bitch who’s prepared to fuck a guy over emotionally at all. What that sounds like is a woman who wants to have a laugh and a good time with me.

So, the texting is all good.

To cast a totally different light on the situation, I do know that the ex is a really possessive, insecure git.

So, we are left with scenario number two.

Her insecure ex was round at Miss P’s house on Saturday morning (reason uncertain), he had a ring (an actual ring not a sex toy) and proposed in order to win her back. Miss P refused and told him that she was seeing a friend of Pete. He freaked because he’d already told his friends about the ring and when it fell through they took the piss out of him (within earshot of Pete).

In all honesty, scenario 2 is the one I’m emotionally attracted to for obvious reasons, but any comments on this would be welcome. I’m going to drop by her work on Saturday (Yes that was already on the cards before this) but I really don’t know whether to bring this up then or at our next date or even at all.

For me, it’s honesty that’s the key. Give me the facts (good, bad or indifferent) and let me make my own decision. If Miss P is still involved with her ex then I want to know so that I can make my own mind as to whether I want to stay in the relationship. Without honesty there is nothing.

Another long post.

Good Night Readers

Hello Reader.

Just a quick post (on my lunch break), just to say that despite some initial confusion, frustration and impatience (all on my part, as per) I have actually managed to get Miss Potential to agree another date for our ermm... next date.

So, a week on Friday, or Saturday depending on her work commitments, we will be meeting again. Now all I need to stress about is a) what to do and b) whther things will be that much different when we're both sober (at least to begin with).

As far as a) goes I'm thinking either I cook (an idea I like) or we go out for a meal (an idea that the couple of peeps who I've asked about this seem to prefer). Ok so not so difficult a choice you say but if there are any women out there who fancy helping out a poor confused man I'd definitely like to hear what you would prefer.

And b)? Well in all honesty I'm not really worried about that. Either we confirm what seemed most definitely apparent on our first date, or we don't. I'd really like this to work but I'm under no illusions - I'm getting a bit old for self-delusion (ha! Yeah right.)

Ok, definitely got to go now, I'm stealing work time.

:-)

Blind Dates & Captain America

Ok, I’m back.

Apologies to you Reader for the intermittent nature of my blogging, my net connection is, for various reasons, unreliable. I’m working on it.

Ok, so I promised you a run down of my blind date. Well to give you a bit of background. The night was actually her leaving do from where she worked with my mate Pete. So there were loads of people round ALL of whom knew that Pete had set me and Miss Potential up (as he gleefully informed me just as we were walking into Wetherspoons - bastard) so no pressure then. No, not at all.

Also, my best friend and confidant had neglected to mention that Miss P was my age with two kids. Would I have turned down the date if I’d known that beforehand? No, curiosity over this person whom Pete had said ‘I’ve told her about you and she seems really interested’ far out weighed any shallow misgivings over age or kids. The age thing is interesting because both of my previous long-term relationships, in fact thinking about it all my relationships have been with women who are younger than me by at least four years. I personally think that the younger you are the more significant the difference in age is to the relationship, but maybe that’s just me.

Anyway, I digress.

So, first things first. Appearances, yes I know it’s shallow but it’s also fact that in the first few moments all you really have to go on is the looks (which is why I’ve always seem to do ok until the lights come up. Ha-ha) and I’ll be brutally honest here and say that she looked her age, more specifically, she looked my age which is something I know don’t. But she did have a really great figure and wasn’t unattractive at all, just older than I’m used to. Well I’m here now, let’s see how this progresses.

Luckily almost everyone buggered off to the Q Lounge, a horrible place where the highest IQ belongs to the quiz machine, leaving me (obviously), Pete and Mary, Big Gav and Miss P, basically everyone over the age of twenty-five. We went off to a different pub and that’s when things started to get interesting. We got chatting, I think I opened with something along the lines of ‘I hope you’re as nervous as I am’, which was the truth by the way, and we proceeded from there.

She was really easy to talk to, obviously intelligent, a quick wit and a pretty sharp sense of humour but not abrasive with it. It wasn’t long before I’d completely forgotten about my pre-date nerves, good company and copious alcohol will do that to you, and although as a group we were having a great time more and more I found myself just talking with Miss P. After a few more bars, we wound up in a seriously cheesy 70’s nightclub (if you know Nottingham I’m talking Flares), normally somewhere wild horses couldn’t drag me but by then I was way past caring.

So with Pete yelling behind us ‘FOR FUCKS SAKE JUST KISS HER!’ we did, and yes it was good. I love drunken snogging. Fuck oysters, drunken snogs are a guaranteed aphrodisiac for me. It’s such an ego boost I forget that the other person is just as pissed as I am and all I think is ‘YES, I am attractive! Woo-hoo!’ Ok, I know this shows a certain lack of maturity and insecurity in my thinking but what can I say, I’m trying to be honest here.

It became a bit of a blur after that, I don’t remember her asking me back to her place or the rather long taxi ride there. My next coherent memory is of being made a cup of tea and that’s when I kind of ‘came back to myself’ I suppose you can call it. So we drank tea and chatted in her living room for a bit.

Then we went to bed.

Holy Mary Mother of God.

I have never had sex like that. She knew what she wanted, how to ask for it, her enthusiasm encouraged me to try a couple of things that in the past I’ve waited until we’re ‘settled’ enough in a relationship to do. Without going into too many details, it was exciting, energetic, fresh and about as sexy an experience as I’ve ever had. I’ve dated some girls for years and never had sex like it.

(Phew, feeling all flushed. I may have to go and lie down in a dark room for ten minutes ( )

There was however one slight problem.

Alcohol.

Initially, I was Captain America, ready for action and raring to go. Unfortunately my knob was more closely related to Captain Pugwash and as we went on just decided that enough was enough. It was kind of a ‘Look mate, as good as this is do you have any idea what that amount of vodka does to me? I’m knackered and I’m off for a kip. Deal with it.’

Fuck.

Or not as it happens.

So rather than, like a typical man, try and deny the obvious, I apologised, not overly, these things happen after all, and she cuddled up next to me with her head on my chest and we talked.

And talked.

And talked.

Until just before 6 a.m.

There was so much and there’s no need to give all the details, but she did ask, twice ‘Why am I so comfortable with you?’

I didn’t know the answer but it felt good to hear.

So the next day as I walked through the park near my home, still dressed up from the night before, I thought about what had happened and the thought that kept crossing my mind was ‘How good was I?’

For the female readers this is probably indicative of the fundamentally immature nature of the male ego but from my perspective if I scored ok then everything else would follow.

As Pete summed up perfectly later that Sunday ‘You’re basically judging the success or failure of the entire date on your performance in the bedroom’

So I texted her that evening, something along the lines of ‘Hi, had a great night, hope to see you soon.’. Got an ok but ambiguous response to that. There was only one way I was going to get to really find out what she thought. Get Pete to ask her friends at work on Monday.

Well, as it turns out, apparently I’m was an 8 out of 10 (and if I’d been capable of finishing the job it would have been a high 10). Needless to say my ego has been ridiculously inflated this week. We’ve been texting and had a couple of phone calls but arranging another date has been more difficult. Obviously she has two kids and is starting her new job tomorrow so finding a mutual time is difficult and to be honest I’ve found it a bit frustrating but that’s my issue and it’s one I’ll deal with.

Looking forward to seeing where this goes.

G’Night Reader.

P.S. If you’ve got this far, it’ll be a miracle.

:-)